American Woodworker

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Woodwork 

Winter 2013-2014

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There's fickle and then you have silly

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At any given time there are a myriad of things going on inside the TKW and
I can easily say that because there's no doubt in my mind it's a very
fickle place.

And, I suppose a casual onlooker would find meager interest in what was
going on in there.  I mean, let's say you're a Hobo living in a tent
beside the shop and one day you stand up and proclaim, "I'm tired of
sitting here all day poking the fire with this stick!"  So, you mosey on
over and wedge your head in the door for a looksee.

You'd be like, "Ohh, wow!  Man, that guy is making...ummm, he's working on
a...ahh, well...whatever that thing is...he's a genius and he's making
something fer sure!"  And then you'd walk back to your tent all the while
shaking your head saying, "Boy-oh-boy I most awful wish I had something
better to do other than sit around all day poking a stick in the fire."

It was a Sunday but when I woke up that morning I declared it was
going to be Funday instead and that's when things got real silly inside
the TKW.

See, it all got started with a family of squirrels.

Just outside our house door are five good sized pine trees and early this
Spring two squirrels drifted in and took up housekeeping in them. 
Apparently they were right serious about it and now there are six of the
tramps scurrying around.

Shortly after I brought their existence known to Her Nagness she's looking
out the door and sees them running roughshod all over the place and says,
"Awww, they're so cute, look at them running around!  You just gotta build
them a house!"

"Why?  I asked, scratching the back of my head, "My Hobo doesn't have a
house."

That's b'cuz 'your Hobo' doesn't WANT a house, those little guys do!  Now,
get in that shop of yours and build them one!"

Next thing I know I'm pacing around the shop without the slightest idea on
what style house I'm going to make for them.  Presently, Jim walks in and
witnesses the result of my trekking.

"Why is there a groove in the floor?"

"I'm trying to figure out how to get a government grant for really, really
low income housing."  Then explained what I needed to do.  He suggested I
look at some of those plan catalogs for inspiration.

"Holy smokes, why didn't I think of that?"

After thumbing through several of them I found one that looked pretty
neat.  Then, after it was done I stood there looking at it and at that
exact moment  was when it got silly.

"Why are you staring at it, Joe?"

"It needs something."

"What?"

"I dunno...something.  Battens maybe?"  So, I did that and a few moments
later Jim asked, "Now why're you staring at it, Joe?"

 







 

"I don't think it's silly enough yet.  I'm thinking it needs chimneys."

"Chimneys?"

"Yeah, and what about a railing on this porch up here."

 






"A railing?  They're squirrels, Joe, I don't think any of them are gonna
be falling off that porch and I'm pretty sure Santa isn't bothered with
them having chimneys either."

I ignored him.  "What do you think about fake porch lights?"

"You wanna know what I think?  I think you're about stupid."

Until next time,

Joe Johns,
Twisted Knot Woodshop, "There's never been a classier joint"